I’m currently at my sister’s in Columbia South Carolina. Tomorrow, we’re going up to Ruckersville Virginia and going wine tasting like we did last year. Fortunately, since I have cut way back on my opioids, I can drink more wine again. Last year, I had to mostly taste and spit. This year, I expect to do more swallowing. Yay!

More tomorrow.

Merry Christmas everyone!

The last one, also from Thomas M.

Three circus dwarfs decided to change professions. They reviewed their options and decided to move to China and start a business together in that burgeoning economy. They bought a factory in Beijing and started manufacturing road-building materials to use to build highways for China’s expanding transportation system. They shrewdly cornered the market on a black, sticky substance to cover the roads they were building. Thus, they became known as … (more…)

Another one from Thomas M.

A mother was pleased with the card her son had made her for Christmas, but was puzzled as to the scraggly-looking tree from which many presents dangled, and at the very top, something that looked strangely like a bullet. She asked him if he would explain the drawing and why the tree itself was so bare, instead of a fat pine tree. “It’s not a traditional Christmas tree,” he explained. (more…)

From Thomas M.

One of rock ‘n’ roll’s earliest — and greatest — rock performers was the incomparable Buddy Holly. Despite his bespectacled, nerdy appearance, the man really knew how to ignite an audience. In fact, the folks who attended Buddy’s performances got so excited that many of his concerts ended with a riot. Just as soon as the fans saw that Buddy had performed the closing song, they would fly into a collective rage, smash chairs, storm the stage and tear down the curtain. As a result, no theater owner would hire Buddy because they feared that their patrons would … (more…)

Since it is Christmas I’m gonna gift you with multiple Christmas puns. This forst one is from my buddy Phil.

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift.

“How do I get him to sing?” The young man asked, excitedly.

“Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet.” was the shop owner’s reply.

The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot’s left foot. Chet began to sing: “Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! …”

The shop owner then
held another match under the parrot’s right foot. Then Chet’s tune changed, and the air was filled with: ” Silent Night, Holy Night…”

The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm.

When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed. “How beautiful!” she exclaimed. “Can he talk?”

“No,” the young man replied. “But he can sing. Let me show you.”

So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet’s left foot as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: “Jingle Bells! Jingle bells!..” The man then moved the lighter to Chet’s right foot, and out
came: “Silent Night, Holy night…”

The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, “What if we hold the lighter between his legs?”

The man did not know. “Let’s try it,” he answered, eager to please his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet’s legs.

Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and the little
parrot sang out loudly like it was the performance of his life: (more…)