Ron in Ohio sent me this one.

Apologies to my Southern Friends. I found this joke over 12 years ago and it was about dumb “Damned Yankees” and shrewd “Southerners”. I figure that the time has come to update the joke.

Especially afterwards. In these past 12 years we have had 3 different presidential campaigns with rhetoric by, you know who, trying to paint us “Fly-Overs” as nothing but, ‘Bitter, Gun and Religion Clinging, Bible Toting people who have antipathy toward people who aren’t like them, who have anti-immigration and free trade objections’ sentiment.’ This sort of rhetoric has accelerated ever since the 2008 presidential campaign by all of the, you know who party.

So, here is the updated and topical version of that joke – Enjoy:

The Ivy League Politicians and the “Fly-Over” Farmers

One morning, three “Back East” politicians took a train to Chicago to deliver their speeches at the Farm Bureau convention. The three decided to take the train so they could have a good look at the dumb “Fly-Overs” who they had heard so much about, and maybe even amuse themselves with talking to a few of these “Local Yokels”.

While passing thru Ohio and Indiana they noticed that every time the train stopped to pick-up passengers, those “Hay Seed” looking Farm Bureau delegates would all cram into one of the train car’s restrooms. A little after the train re-started the conductor would come around, knock on the restroom door and say, “Ticket, please.” the restroom door would open just a crack and an arm would emerge with a single ticket in its hand. The Conductor would take it and move on. When he exited that car and move to another the “Fly-Over” farmers would emerge and find a seat.

“Lizzy! – Chucky! – Did you see how those “Shit-Kicking” farmers are traveling on only one ticket?” (Still quoting Shrill-Liar-Ly) asked Bernie, the other politician on board. The three all agreed it was quite a clever idea. So, after talking to a group of farmers sitting behind them they decided to do the same thing on the return trip and make a little money while charging the taxpayers for the trip.

After the convention was over, they bought a single ticket for the return trip and watched, to their astonishment, that the farmers they were talking to didn’t buy even one ticket. “Now, how are you all going to travel without a ticket?” asked one of the perplexed politicians. “Ya’ really got to be as stupid as we were told.”

“As our cousins down in Kentucky, Tennessee and West Virginia say, Ya’ll jes’ hide and watch and learn,” answered one of the farmers. “Yeah! I guess that you guys gotta’ watch and learn all over again”, chimed-in another of the farmers.

So, when they boarded the train, the “Fly-Overs” crammed themselves into one toilet and the three politicians got into the other restroom in the railway car.

Quickly, after the train began to move, one of the farmers left their toilet and ran to the other toilet where the three politicians were hiding. The farmer knocked on the door and said, “Ticket, please!” And returned to his buddies.

Now, there’s just no way on God’s green earth to explain how them Ivy League educated, college idiots, can outsmart a “Fly-OVER” citizen anymore, now is there? – Not anymore!