Dear President Trump – It’s nice that you took Speaker Blinky and Schmuck Schumer to the woodshed in the meeting in the Oval Office. I’m having a hard time with all of this wasted effort to wring $5 billion out of these nimrods. You don’t need the $5 billion. You have the Army Corps of Engineers. They’re good at building stuff. Have them build the wall. Do it now! We are being invaded at our southern border. This is a national security issue.

This was your number one campaign issue. If you want to get reelected in 2020, you have to figger out how to deliver.

Ron goes off on the socialist it girl. Such an easy target.

‘Bout a week ago I made a remark about AO-C’s intelligence, saying that she’s not stupid, just misinformed and ignorant. Reagan said it much better with his “it’s not that they don’t know stuff; it’s just that they know so much ain’t true.”

Not a direct quote, but essentially what he said, talking about liberals, of course. AO-C is very clearly quick-minded and intellectually resourceful, able to grasp a new concept and weave it into whatever tapestry of misguided logic she’s working on.

Her problem is that she tends to grab a fact at random and, like a two-year old learning language, generalize from the core of that isolated datum and apply her assumption to concepts and processes with no relationship at all to it.

From ignorance and inexperience she’s like a toddler who catches onto the rule for pluralizing nouns by adding an “s” and applies it to words where it doesn’t work. The child hears one dog become many just by the “s” sound at the end of the word.

So, generalizing that apparent and simple rule, one man becomes many by just adding “s” to make it “mans” until someone explains the fact that the word is an irregular noun with different rules.

The kid innocently puts what it thinks is a pluralizer on “sheep,” not aware of the fact that the word is both singular AND plural. Same with furniture, or people, or moose. It will also apply the idea of making “mouse” plural by turning it into “mice” and wonder what to do with “moose” . . . meese, as in “geese”? Then one day she’ll get it right.

Last week AO-C made a couple of those malaprop generalizations to laws and procedures. First was her riposte to Don Trump Jr.’s tweetyblurb about why some people don’t like socialism: “they’d rather walk their dogs than eat them.”

Of course the implication of his tweet was that socialism doesn’t work and people often run out of food in socialist regimes and are forced to eat whatever’s available, including pets.

Here’s how she handled that: “I have noticed that Junior here has a habit of posting nonsense about me whenever the Mueller investigation heats up. Please, keep it coming Jr – it’s definitely a ‘very, very large brain’ idea to troll a member of a body that will have subpoena power in a month.”

Dumb thing to say. While it’s true that the HOR as a legislative body has subpoena power, its individual members do not, and to make even vague threats like that runs counter to the House ethics rules. But . . . as a rookie, she doesn’t know that yet.

She also took liberties with the language of the Constitution by saying that if Republicans don’t pass the Equal Rights Amendment, she’ll run for president to “teach them a lesson.”

When challenged on the age restriction of 35 (she’s not even 30 yet), she misquoted the Constitution by saying that the age limitation applies only to men: “. . . the Constitution technically says he cannot run until he’s 35.”

Well, that’s not exactly what it says. Jefferson must have seen that one coming, because the actual passage is No person except a natural born citizen, or a citizen of the United States, at the time of the adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that office who shall not have attained to the age of thirty five years, and been fourteen Years a resident within the United States thereby neatly sidestepping the issue of gender.

In that regard, she’s very much like The Donald, who tends to let his MAGAmouth overload his Twitter-bird ass, counterpunching by reflex without pausing to consider the consequences. And when he does, his hard-core voter base cheers him on for giving it back in spades to whoever attacked him.

AO-C accomplishes the same thing with her foxpaws, malaprops, and linguistic cacologisms. Her supporters realize that she’s stepped in somethin that don’t smell right, but they don’t care ‘cause it’s neat that she said it and the one she said it to had it comin anyhow.

I’m glad to see a fresh mind uncontaminated with the “that’s how we’ve always done it” for-the-good-of-the-party imperative. It’s long past time to flush out the geriatric crowd who refuses in its anosagnosia (inability to recognize one’s own shortcomings) to see that they’re all well past their “best if used by” date. She’ll learn a whole bunch in the next 40 days, count on it.

And of course it’s time for some new approaches to things, innovative solutions to problems that the Founders couldn’t have imagined, new brooms to sweep out the stale cobwebs and deadwood.

But of course rookie pitchers often serve up dingers and red-shirt quarterbacks throw interceptions, but those Nolan Ryans and Joe Montanas and Goose Gossages and Tom Bradys gotta start somewhere.

AO-C isn’t Fredo . . . not stupid, like everybody says . . . she’s just ignorant, and there’s a difference between not knowing something and not being able to comprehend it in the first place.

Ronnie Raygun, not always 100% accurate himself, got it right where Alexandria of the saucer eyes and beaver teeth is concerned – it’s just that she knows so much stuff that she just hasn’t completely processed yet. She ain’t an Ayn Rand, but she’s no Gracie Allen, either.

I finally got off my ass and read Don Surber’s Fake News Follies of 2017. This is a follow on book to his previous two books, Trump the Press and Trump the Establishment. The book could have been titled CNN Sucks since a large part of the book is about CNN and their devotion to Fake News. In dishonor of CNN, Jim Acosta is featured on the cover.

2017 started right off with Fakes News when the Fake News Media falsely reported that when Trump moved the bust of Winston Churchill back to the Oval Office (Obungler had removed it when he took office) he removed the bust of Martin Luther King Junior. Fake News! He did no such thing. This was just the start. Things went downhill from there.

Of course, the book isn’t entirely about CNN (Motto: The Most Distrusted Name In Fake News), the rest of the Fake News Networks get their share although no one sinks to the level of CNN.

Surber presents example after example of made up Fake News stories about Donald Trump.

Yannow, I’m old enough to remember when members of the Fake News Media at least tried to pretend that they were objective. Of course those of us with brains realized that was bullshit. All one had to do was compare how they covered Nixon, Reagan, and both Bushes compared to how they covered Kennedy, Johnson, Carter, Clinton, and Obungler. I remember Sam Donaldson yelling at Reagan . He never did that to a Dimocrat president.

Compare how the Fake News Media fellatioed Obumbler to how they treat Trump. They no longer pretend to be objective and their hatred of the president forces them to concoct fake news stories about him and his administration. You think they would have some sort of shame that they are no longer journalists but propagandists. As I have written many times, Goebbels would be proud of our Fake Nes Media.

Surber also goes after the “fact checkers” like Politifact. Yep! They’re fake news as well. Surber has examples. Many examples.

I suggest if you want to catch up on the Fake News Media in 2017 you need to buy this book. I’m sure Surber is busy writing Fake News Follies of 2018.

The nice thing about Fake News Follies of 2017 is it prolly wrote itself.

From my friend Phil.

Bill was a bit embarrassed and told the doctor he had
trouble getting an erection with his wife and she was
getting frustrated.

The doc checked the man’s blood pressure and other vitals.
Then after a thorough examination the doctor said he wanted to check with Bill’s wife.

He took her to another cubicle and asked her to disrobe. Then he told her to turn all the way around slowly.

She did as instructed. He then told her to raise her arms above her head, then bend over, touch her toes and cough.

Finally he said, “OK, good, you can get dressed now, and I will go talk to your husband.”

The doctor went back to the other cubicle and said to the husband, “Well Bill, you can relax, there is nothing wrong with you. I couldn’t get an erection either.” (more…)

Getting festive for the holidays. From Jane Austen.

As the dude on Sirius XM calls them, “Uncle Ted and his Merry Band of Minstrels”, Damn Yankees.

The Sarabande movement from Bach’s Cello Suite #4.

From Pres. (more…)

Originally I was gonna give it to Mazie Hirono, the Einstein senator from Hawaii. You remember her donthcha? During the Kavanaugh hearings she said men should “just shut up”. She opened her mouth again and displayed what a bithering idiot she is.

Sen. Mazie Hirono (D-HI) said Democrats have a difficult time “connecting” with voters because of “how smart we are” that “we know so much.” Hirono was interviewed by journalist Dahlia Lithwick at the ‘Bend Towards Justice’ conference in Washington, D.C. on Tuesday.

Yeah. That’s it. She is the poster child for the Dunning-Kruger Effect. Of course she does have a point that voters are dumb since they elected her.

Anyhoo, she was beat out by this Grinch.

A school principal in Nebraska was placed on administrative leave this week after sending a memo to staff urging a ban on Christmas items in the school.

Jennifer Sinclair was temporarily removed from her position Thursday after telling staff some unacceptable practices included singing Christmas carols and using items that have red/green colors. Candy Canes were also outlawed as “historically, the shape is a ‘J’ for Jesus.”

“The red is for the blood of Christ, and the white is a symbol of his resurrection,” Sinclair told faculty. “This would also include different colored candy canes.” Also on the naughty list were Santa Claus, Christmas trees, Christmas music and making Christmas ornaments as gifts.

The principal said it was a way to be “inclusive and culturally sensitive” to all students. “I feel uncomfortable that I have to get this specific, but for everyone’s comfort I will,” she wrote. Permitted items included snowflakes, hot chocolate, polar bears, penguins and sledding.

You’re a mean one Ms. Grinch. You’re also an asshole. On an upbeat note, she was suspended from her job, prolly until all of this blows over and then she will be reinstated as if nothing happened. She should be fired.

Didja hear what happened in DC?

LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Gavin Clarkson, a recent candidate for New Mexico secretary of state, experienced a one-of-our-50-states-is-missing moment earlier this month when applying for a marriage license in the nation’s capital.

Which state?

Clarkson, who lives in Las Cruces, and his then-fiancée visited the District of Columbia Courts Marriage Bureau on Nov. 20 to apply for a marriage license.

But, once there, the couple encountered a small problem, Clarkson said. The clerk wouldn’t accept Clarkson’s driver’s license – from New Mexico – as proof of his identity. Rather, the clerk, who mistakenly believed Clarkson was a foreign citizen, said he would have to provide an international passport to get the marriage license.

After Clarkson objected, the clerk went to check with a supervisor, who confirmed Clarkson would need a passport.

So not only was the clerk a booger eatin’ moh-ron but so was the supervisor. I wonder what race they were?

“She thought New Mexico was a foreign country,” he said of the clerk. “All the couples behind us waiting in line were laughing.”

That should have given the clerk a clue that she was an idiot.

A very similar thing happened in Atlanta during the Olympics. Someone from New Mexico called to get tickets and the clerk said that she couldn’t send the tickets to New Mexico because it was a foreign country. The guy asked to speak to her supervisor and the supervisor reportedly said, “New Mexico, Old Mexico, we can’t send tickets to a foreign country.”

Name that race.

The guy finally had to give an address to a friend’s house in Arizona.