Ron wrote a SOTU address for President Trump.

Didn’t b’lieve DJT would get elected. Thought he just wanted to prove he COULD if he wanted to. Even considered the idea that he’d go through with taking office if he won the election but then resign after a year or so.

In fact, I’m not sure he even WANTS to try for a 2nd term. Given the hate and ignorance and mulish resistance he’s encountered thus far, I know I wouldn’t do it.

Got to thinkin ‘bout the next SOTU. “Blah, blah, blah . . . jobs . . . blah blah . . . economy . . . blah BLAH blah . . . security . . . blah . . . taxes . . . BLAH blah . . . climate . . .“ and so on. Much ado about stuff the Dems don’t wanna hear. Sound and fury, signifying politics. In fact, all they wanna hear from him is precisely what I wanted to hear from DingleBarry: “I resign.”

I’ve read some of the SOTUs over the years . . . refuse to listen to ANY politician give speeches, EVER. But I’d pay good money to watch The Donald give one like this:

Washington, D.C.

22 Jan 2019

Madame Speaker, Mr. Vice President, members of Congress, the First Lady of the United States and my fellow Americans:

(. . . . pause . . . . hands on lectern . . . . lean forward . . . stare into the distance . . . .)

O.K. It’s cold and cloudy, and nobody really likes to hear long speeches. The only reason I’m doing this one is that it’s tradition . . . that and I can’t wait to see how the fake news guys spin it. Always enjoy a good laugh.

What’s the state of the union? Well . . . look around – know anybody who wants a job who can’t find one? Know anybody who’s worse off today than he was 2 years ago . . . except those who brought it upon themselves or were just unfortunate victims of Mother Nature?

Hey, imagine what it’d be like if my administration had been able to get just a “smidgin” of cooperation from Democrats. And even THEY have to admit that just about everything is better now than it was during the past 8 years.

Yeah, yeah . . . I know – I’m supposed to ramble on with a list of specific accomplishments and statistics and achievements and predictions, so here they are:

Bringing our troops home from Shitholistan. Very complex situation there . . . VERY complex – but not our job. Europe’s job. No amount of US money or blood will ever fix things in Syria, or Iran, or Iraq. Time to get out. Afghanistan is where empires go to die, and Persia has always been a breeding ground of ignorant, savage, bloodthirsty, tribal, warring paranoids. Exit time.

Economy. Hey, if the Fed hadn’t been so quick to meddle with interest rates, the market would be through the roof and everybody’s 401s would be gold. Money is coming back from offshore, manufacturing is up, consumer confidence is better than it’s been in 30 years, and foreign governments are thinking twice before setting up trade practices which make them rich at our expense.

The Wall. This is so simple a 3rd grader could explain it. No matter how much a border wall would cost, it would pay for itself in a decade through reductions in Food Stamps, Welfare, free health care, education, narcotics control, and law enforcement costs in the illegal immigrant enclaves. Those refusing to accept that have just turned off their brains and turned on their NeverTrump autopilots.

Climate change. Yes, of course the climate is changing. Just as it’s been doing for the past 4 billion years. And there’s absolutely NOTHING we can do to alter that reality, unless we can install controls on the sun. I’m not going to throw billions of US taxpayer dollars at a giant scam to fund past-their-prime university professors and make Al Gore rich. Besides, the US has already MORE than achieved carbon and pollution reduction goals set by the Paris Accord, which I withdrew us from. It’s a rip-off, and all over Asia and even parts of Europe, fossil-fueled power plants are being built to make up the shortages created by dependence on solar and wind and other “alternate” energy sources which cost more to build and maintain than they’re worth in energy production.

Chaos in the White House. Bull! Go look at the turnover rates of my predecessor’s administration before you criticize my management practices. Besides, I was hired as a temporary government employee for the expressed purpose of draining the Swamp, and that means kicking ass, exposing frauds, and firing people who can’t cut it or have run out of steam.

Unpresidential behavior. Yeah, right. Again, one of the major reasons I’m here is that people were tired of the same ol’ same ol’ and wanted a guy to shake things up. Well, that’s me. So to all you obstructionists and socialists and entrenched career parasites and “resist Trumpers” – deal with it! Or better yet, go home and stay there.

General Mattis. Good guy. Served admirably, but basically a one-trick pony with too much “progressive” in him with all that gays and lesbians and trannies in the military stuff. Did a good job, but it was time for him to move on.

Sanctuary cities. Stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. Cities, counties, and states deliberately refusing to obey black-letter law so they can provide unearned benefits and luxuries to persons who are criminals just by being and staying here without authority. Any city or county or state which flouts federal law makes itself ineligible for federal funding. Period. BAD idea, allowing criminals to rape, steal, murder with impunity from ICE and US Marshals and FBI leos and then create tent cities and defecate on city streets. How stupid is that!

Pelosi. And Waters. And even my old friend Chuck Schumer. Passed their “use by” dates long ago. They lost their ability to read the handwriting on the wall where drugs and laws and benefits and law enforcement are concerned. Can’t see anything but “Dump Trump.” Time to let some reasonable people get some time in the spotlight and actually do the jobs they were elected for.

We’re doing just what we said we’d do . . . making America great again. And that pisses off the snowflake and open-border and gender-confused socialists who insist that the US is the world’s greatest source of conflict because it was built and is run by white males.

Hey, if this is such a racist and oppressive society, why do hundreds of millions of people spend all their money and risk their lives just to get here and live in it? You want to live under Socialism? Go to Cuba, or Venezuela. Want to live in a country where white males have no authority or influence? Go to Zimbabwe, or Nigeria.

America is getting back on its feet after the trap-block laid on it by the guy who had the office before me with his Holders and Sharptons and Kerrys and Clintons. Sometimes it’s best to rip the band-aid off all at once rather than picking at it. Might hurt for a while, even bleed a little, but cuts down on the risk of infection and gangrene.

And if you don’t like the side dishes that come with your meal, don’t eat ‘em. But don’t blame the menu just because you didn’t take time to read it, or the cook who did exactly what it said he would. You want borchst and vodka, go to Bulgaria. You want meat and potatoes and a nice garden salad with domestic wine, stick around.

Thank you, everybody. And now let’s get to work . . . and that means you, too, Congress. Stop acting like a bunch of spoiled brats throwing a tantrum because you didn’t get sprinkles on your ice cream. Grow up and do your jobs.