From Gary.
My teacher asked me what my favorite animal was and I said, “Fried Chicken.”
She said I wasn’t funny but she couldn’t have been right because everyone laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much.
I do too. Especially chicken, pork, and beef.
Anyway my teacher sent me to the principal’s office. I told him what happened and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
Told her it was chicken.
She asked me why.
I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
She sent me back to the principal’s office. He laughed and told me not to do it again.
I don’t understand. My parents told me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am.
Today my teacher asked me to tell her what famous military man I admired the most.
I told her, “Colonel Sanders.”
Guess where the fuck I am now…
At age 5, my dad lived on a farm, and a rooster would chase him, jump on his neck and peck at him. Once, while that was happening, his dad threw a hammer that took off the rooster’s head. They cooked and ate it, and my dad told me how much he enjoyed every bite.
She clearly hated bearded white dudes. Here’s Mike the Headless Chicken. The first feathered Democrat.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_the_Headless_Chicken
PETA: People Exercising Their Assininity
1968 ‘Chicken Man’ . Bawk, Bawk, bawk. Fun to listen to in Viet Nam.
“He’s everywhere! He’s every where!”
I first heard that “chicken” joke as a “Little Johnny” joke, many decades ago. There are lots of “Little Johnny” jokes, and now we are fortunate that you can find them on the internet!
And here’s another Little Johnny joke I learned many years ago: Little Johnny was walking in the park with his father, when they saw two dogs that were humping. Little Johnny asked his father, “Daddy, what are those two dogs doing?” The father, thinking quickly, answered, “You see, son, the dog in the back has hurt his front paws, and the dog in front is helping the hurt dog to get home.” Little Johnny then said, “I get it now! Dogs are like people. You try to do someone a favor and you get #$%*(@! in the @#$%^!!”
Somehow I thought of Col. Sanders and chickens and it reminded me of POTUS and Dims.
Little Johnny was walking by his mothers room & happened to see her naked e &”noticed her hairy muff & asked her what that was ….She replied “My pet Squirrel.
Then he went by his Grandmothers room he noticed she was naked & asked if that was he pet Squirrel……Grandma said Why yes Johnny. Then Johnny asked why her Squirrel was grey &wrinkled while his mothers was shiny black & large.
Grandma said…..Well Johnny, when your mothers Squirrel has cracked as many nuts as mine it will be grey & wrinkled too.
I’m glad he didn’t chicken out!
When he was in high school my dad worked on a chicken farm candling eggs. To this day he will not eat eggs or chicken. He’s 88.
My Uncle Pump worked in a poultry processing plant. He would never eat turkey or chicken after that.
A friend of mine grew up as a child near a hog slaughterhouse. The slaughter rate was so high that the individual hog squeals blended together into a continuous sound “eeeee”.