From Phil.

Squirrels

As a band of squirrels had become quite a problem, the Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

And not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.

The world is not coming to an end. The Kung Flu is not gonna kill everyone.

The Fake News Media is in an uproar because the number of cases is rising. Of course the number of cases is rising. More people are getting tested.

What the Fake News Media isn’t reporting is that the number of daily deaths in the US is falling. I mean really falling. Check out the graphs here. You will have to scroll down to see the graphs.

You can see that the deaths peaked at the end of April and have been on a downward trend ever since. This is in spite of new cases saying about the same.

Could it be that the virus is getting less deadly? We can only hope.

But whatever happened to hospitals getting overwhelmed? Didn’t happen did it?

Remember, the shutdown was only supposed to “flatten the curve”. That happened, but blue state governors feeling the power took things to extremes. They’ve been slow to reopen their economies. Red state governors, on the other hand, did start to reopen. We don’t have little Hitlers running our states.

Now these same little Hitlers are running to the federal gummint demanding bailouts. Fuck ’em! And while I’m at it, fuck your cities as well. Let Black Lies Matter and Antifa burn them to the ground. Let’s defund the police. Let’s have bloodbaths like in Chicago where over the weekend they had 14 killed and 88 wounded. And what does Mayor Lighthead have to say, “F U Trump!”

Well F U Lighthead. I hope your city continues to burn. Let the Africans run amok. You voted for it Chicago. You’re getting it, good and hard.

Meanwhile, the Kung Flu looks like it’s burning out, while our cities are burning up.

From Gary.

Ozzy!

Taking a break from Scarlatti to listen to last week’s performer, Chaconne Klaverenga play Bach.

From Stine. (more…)

Wow! The Asshole Fairy swooped down on Atlanta a laid a big pile of assholiness on the city.

WTF is wrong with Dan Cathy, the CEO of Chick-Fil-A? He’s saying white people should be shining the shoes of black people. WTF? And from the paper of record, Chick-Fil-A now open on Sunday but only for black people.

The mayor, Keisha Lance Bottoms, is going crazy and the chief of police resigned. The police are getting fed up and have quit coming to work. See how you black neighborhoods like no cops.

But the number one asshole is Fulton County DA Paul “Curly” Howard. You may remember him. He was the dude who botched the Ray Lewis trial and let him get away with murder. Howard is in a tough reelection battle and needs to gin up the black vote so he has decided to throw the book at the cop who shot “family man” Rayshard Brooks. The investigation isn’t even finished but Howard needs the votes. People are saying the case will be laughed out of court, but the jury will consist of Fulton County voters so they’re wrong.

I had to pay my quarterly estimated taxes this week so this joke sent to me by Pres seems appropriate.

The Audit

Myron Greenberg, a wealthy L.A. businessman received a letter of Audit from the IRS. It really upset him so he called his accountant, Saul Meyers.

Myron: (pleading): “Saul, what are they doing to me? Why are they doing this to me?

Saul (calming); “Myron, don’t worry about it. I’ve got all the receipts, the account is up to date, it’s no problem. But let me give you a bit of advice. When you go to the Audit, make a bad impression. Wear the crummiest, dirtiest clothes you’ve got. Have holes in your shoes, ripped pants and look shabby. I mean really look terrible, because if they have a little sympathy, they’ll go easy on you.”

Then Myron called his lawyer, Charlie Steinberg. His lawyer said:

CHARLIE: “Myron it’s no problem, I’m sure they got the receipts, I’m sure everything is up to date, you’ve got a great accountant, don’t worry about it. Let me give you a tip. When you go to the Audit, it’s very important that you make a good impression. Wear your best suit, and your shirt with a silk tie and cuff links and shine your shoes, look like somebody. Because if you look like a somebody they respect you and will go easy on you.”

And now he’s torn. And that night he bumped into his Rabbi at the Deli.
And he told the Rabbi the story.

Rabbi: “Myron, it reminds me of sometimes when I perform a wedding. The bride’s father will tell his daughter that on her wedding night to wear a nightgown with a high collar and long sleeves and a full-length robe… cover up, you know, be a little demure.

And the mother says, ‘Don’t be silly. Wear a low cut “negligee” with the cleavage sticking out — look a little sexy’…

and Myron I will say to you just like I say to the bride on her wedding night, it makes no difference what you wear, you’re gonna get screwed”.

Here’s Ron.

Three little words . . . three magic words . . . three transformative words which forgive crime, forgive stupidity, forgive terrorism, forgive rioting, forgive theft, forgive vandalism, forgive racism, forgive . . . well, forgive me, but you get the point – three magic words – Black Lives Matter.

Condescension at its worst, hypocrisy at its worst, pandering at its worst . . . to mouth words someone else has scripted for you and justified by manipulating data and skewing reality in some kind of obscene social control ploy which only they understand . . . if they do.

It’s virtue signaling into a rabbithole of faux news, faux guilt, and faux contrition. For weeks . . . months, actually . . . families weren’t allowed to have graduation ceremonies, go to church, attend funerals for family members.

But now, an anonymous black man with a drug problem, a criminal record, and a congenital defect dies because of a bad decision by a white cop. So what? Well, millions of people took to the streets across the goddam planet in protest, thousands attended his funeral, and unknown numbers marched, rioted, and looted in tribute to his martyrdom.

Hey, weren’t we all s’posed to be hunkering down to prevent spreading the killer WuHuFlu . . . you know, that racist bacterial warfare agent that affects blacks MUCH more often and seriously than whites? Right? RIGHT ???!!!

Apparently the virus isn’t going to kill either Trump or Biden. It’s making Hillary wonder why the hell she has to do everything herself. I s’pose it’s still possible that Covid could cause one of ‘em’s lungs to clog up and cut off oxygen to his windpipe so that he’d die choking to death. But . . . everybody knows that’s Hillary’s specialty.

Only way I can figure it is that Trump Derangement Syndrome stimulates the body’s immune system in large groups outside destroying property and looting, like it’s a Kool-Aid Thera-Flu for WuHu. In other words, when the left needs herds of mindless bodies demonstrating in the streets, CoVid19 becomes dormant.

In-person voting, OTOH, stimulates the virus into frenzied activity, particularly in conservative precincts and would trigger a cataclysmic recurrence of Kung Flu among innocent liberals trying heroically to repeatedly vote by mail with surplus ballots.

To me it’s perfectly clear that the leftist media would be quite satisfied to see every city, every town, every police precinct, every police car burned to the ground if it would result in Trump’s loss November 3.

I say shut down the damned media for 90 days and watch 90% of our problems disappear. We can’t continue to shelter in place indefinitely without a slow, degrading return to the Dark Ages. Mass Media: the Dollar General of information and the 7-11 of ethics.

Wonder why it is that we don’t hear a lot of Democrats and liberals condemning the violence in the streets . . . do we? It’s as if they actually WANT a mobocracy to take over. It’s like Churchill’s “each one hopes that if he feeds the crocodile enough, it will eat him last.”

No, what we see instead is white libs groveling and cowering in the street, abjuring their “white privilege,” tossing “Mea Culpas” around like Mardi Gras beads and trinkets to the natives, shamelessly pandering to ignorant brainwashed mau-maus.

What we need right now is a reset button, a “Restore to Original Settings,” or maybe just pull the power cord off, count to 20 and reboot. And if that doesn’t work, AmRevII.

I wonder if any of the self-possessed social justice warriors can explain to me exactly what the Magic Negro was doing about “systemic racism” for 8 years? Seems to me the total failure of fiscal and social policies in major urban areas for the past half century are the major factors in any continuing racial problems in the US.

Those social-justice warriors out there demonstrating for the killed-criminal-du-jour need to be careful to leave some buildings standing so they’ll have something to burn down in November when Trump is re-elected.

The most effective pretext for suspending rights and liberties is declaring a public emergency. But those who do summon the mob need to remember that just because they called for it doesn’t mean they’re in charge of it. It’s like fire – a wonderful servant but a terrible danger once out of control.

I don’t give a damn about their “protests” and have NO feelings of guilt about the fact that black children drop out of school, begin having babies before they’re old enough to drive, and listen to Democrats who turn them into entitlement junkies and professional victims.

George Floyd, like Michael Brown and Trayvon whatever-his-name-was, is passing from reality into history. Soon he’ll morph into legend, and finally he’ll become a saintlike figure in the fantasyland of Amfrican myth.

Te Saluto, Normalidad Nuevo – Open borders, middle-aged men using the little girls’ restrooms, anarchy, and free everything for everybody forever . . . just so long as everyone wears a mask, observes proper social distancing, and votes Democrat.

W. A. S. F. !!

Right Ron. As I have been saying for years, “We’re doomed!” And speaking of having babies before they’re old enough to drive (but old enough to carjack), “family man” St Rayshard of Wendy’s was 27 years old. His oldest daughter was 13. That means he started his family at 14. He was an early bloomer.

Here’s a story that warms the cockles of my heart.

Olympia Mayor Cheryl Selby has been a loud supporter of Black Lives Matter, and the related protests following the death of George Floyd at the hands of the Minneapolis police department—but she has since changed her tune after her home was vandalized by protesters.

Whassamatter? Aren’t you down with the struggle?

Selby referred to the vandalism as an act of “domestic terrorism” following a siege of her house.

Uh oh! Calling BLM a domestic terrorist organization? Turn in your liberal card.

Selby, who was among the first Democratic leaders to take a knee for the protest movement, says she had difficulty processing the violence after rioters struck her neighborhood on Friday.

It’s different when the mob hits your neighborhood isn’t it?

[…]

“I’m really trying to process this,” she said in an interview with the newspaper. “It’s like domestic terrorism. It’s unfair. It hurts when you’re giving so much to your community.”

“People have so little grace for each other right now. We need to have more grace,” Selby added.

Tell that to the BLM thugs who spray painted your house.

I want to see more of this. I want to see the liberals eaten by the monster they helped create. That’s why it doesn’t bother me to see Minneapolis burn. Same with Chicongo. It’s Dimocrats all the way down. It’s their policies that created the problem. Disband the police department. Let’s really see some mob violence. Let’s see more riots. Burn the cities down. You booger eatin’ moh-rons are getting exactly what you voted for. Good and hard.