This is from my friend Pres who is just as much a sicko as I am. We go way back. We served together on the USS Iredell County (LST-839) in the late 60’s.
Counseling At It’s Best
A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a cliff, about to jump off.
An old homeless bloke who was wandering by stopped and said,”Look, since you’ll be dead in a few minutes, and it won’t matter to you, how about a quickie before you go?”
She screamed, “NO! Bugger off you filthy old bastard!”
He shrugged and turned away saying, “Okay then, I’ll just go and wait at the bottom.”
She didn’t jump.
Counseling can work!!!
Too. Funny. For. Words!
The icing on the cake is that the homeless man has freedom of choice, so that he would let Crooked Cankles or Moochelle go ahead and jump, then not be at the bottom.
Been tellin’ this one for years, usin’ a local bridge as the location and myself as the hero who prevents the suicide . I also add that when I get some at the bottom of the fall it’ll still be warm.
Funniest part of the whole thing is that as I get into to the whole narrative of havin’ saved the young lady from her own actions, most folks around here believe it. The punch line usually earns an “ew” from the audience.
The funny one I heard yesterday was ” Kamala Harris is black as Bruce Jenner is a women”.
Now it turns out that Scarlett O’Harris is descended from the owners of the Brown Plantation in Jamaica that included 200 slaves. Cancel her ass with all of the other slaveholders!
Is there sex after death?
It depends on the Coroner.