Debate Prep
I hear the debate prep for Basement Biden is not going too well. One of my spies sent me excerpts.
Biden Staffer: Mr. Vice-President, what would you do to help ease racial tensions if elected.
Basement Biden: Well, as you know, I like black people, like that clean and articulate Obama fellow and his wife Michael. And my running mate, Kameltoe Harris. I picked her over that black governor of Georgia Stacy Adams who would probaly make a good pick for the Supreme Court. Back when I was growing up I was a lifeguard at a pool that had a lot of black kids. As anyone knows, one of the first things you learn in Lifeguard School is to yell, “No running on deck!” So there I was in my lifeguard chair with the little black kids rubbing the blond hair on my legs – I did tell you that they loved to do that didn’t I? They were fascinated by the blond hair on my legs and loved to rub them. Anyway, this black dude named Cornhole was running on the deck and I yelled at him, “No running on deck!” and he flipped me off. So, I threw him out of the pool.
BS: Mr Vice President, you’re rambling.
BB: C’mon man. Let me finish you dog faced pony soldier.
BS: Yes sir.
BB: So I threw Cornhole out of the pool. Someone told me that he was waiting for me outside so I got me some chains. I confronted him outside the pool with my chains and told him he better drop the knife or I would put him in chains and he said, “Yes massa.” and after that Cornhole and I became real good friends. So that’s how I would address the racial divide. I would take some chains and would threaten to put the colored people…
BS: People of color
BB: What?
BS: Mr. Vice President you can’t call them colored people, they are people of color.
BB: What’s the difference? Colored people, people of color it means the same thing.
BS: You can’t say colored people sir.
BB: So, are you challenging me? Let’s do some pushups right now. I’ll take you outside and kick your ass!
BS: Back to the racial tensions sir
BB: Oh yeah. I would tell them to quit rioting or I would put them in chains.
BS: You can’t do that sir.
BB: Why not? It worked with Cornhole.
BS: Mrs. Biden please help me out here.
BB: I killed Obama bin Laden. Clap you assholes!
Jill Biden: Come along Joe, it’s nappy time. (Under her breath) “We are so screwed!”