Soap Dispensers Are Racist

No really. Soap dispensers are racist. This is the funniest thing I read over the weekend.

No, really. Automatic soap dispensers are “racist.” Look, as I said the other day, there’s an easy way to simplify this whole “woke” thing: if “it” exists and “white people” do “it,” use “it,” enjoy “it,” or have anything to do with “it,” then “it” is “racist,” “white supremacist,” or both.

Well stated. Now the story.

What comes to mind when you hear the term systemic racism? Perhaps Jim Crow-era laws or banks’ redlining policies?

Well, I’ve got a new one you can add to the list: soap dispensers.

Yes, you read that correctly. According to a recent online debate on “systemic racism” put on by the Bruin Republicans that I attended, soap dispensers are proof that white people are systemically racist against black people, according to some of my peers.

I mean I can’t stop laughing.

But it’s not just any dispensers, mind you. It’s those high-tech automatic ones. The reason is simple. As one UCLA student claimed during the debate, automatic soap dispensers “don’t see her hands” due to the dark pigment of her skin. As another student reiterated, soap dispensers are racist because they force “black and brown bodies” to show their palms — “the only light areas of the skin” — in order to get soap out.

“As one UCLA student claimed during the debate, automatic soap dispensers “don’t see her hands” due to the dark pigment of her skin.

“As another student reiterated, soap dispensers are racist because they force “black and brown bodies” to show their palms — “the only light areas of the skin” — in order to get soap out.

“I’m not joking.”

Even if this was true, don’t most of us put our palms under the soap dispensers? I know I do. So what’s the big deal?

“First of all, let me just debunk the basis of this claim: for anyone who doesn’t know, the sensors on soap dispensers don’t see human hands; they don’t have eyes.

“They work using a simple device called a PIR sensor that recognizes infrared light, which is emitted by all people, regardless of color (as long as they’re not dead). Also, I don’t know about you, but those darn things never work for me. I can’t remember how many times I’ve banged on one to try to get soap out (yet it never occurred to me to blame anti-Semitism as the cause).

But I digress. The point here isn’t how a soap dispenser works. It’s the idea that students at UCLA actually thought that they were designed with white supremacy in mind.”

This, and other claims like it, were not unique perspectives shared by one lone student, but rather a world-view that was reiterated and supported by the over 80 students who attended, or more accurately zoom-bombed, the debate.

I’m surprised that Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton didn’t show up.

Yannow, I’m sure there are a lot of white people who would buy into this crap. They are known as liberals.

As George Carlin would say, “It’s bullshit, and it’s bad for you.”

16 comments on “Soap Dispensers Are Racist

  1. I’ve always maintained that snow was racist. It is pretty and white when it falls but after a day or so it turns brown or black due to cars running over it. Racist. Or we can see that manure is racist because it is brown and it smells. And these people go to UCLA. Says it all. Education and smarts are not functions of each other. There are many educated idiots out there.

  2. What is offensive to blacks is layered like an onion. As you peel away each layer that offends them, there is yet another layer of offense underneath.

    When all other layers have been peeled away, what remains is the central offensive core of being born black. Their central self-hatred is their problem, not mine. They need to go to a respiratory therapist and fuh-cough.

  3. Ask a leftist and you will soon learn that EVERYTHING is “RAYCISS!!!”.
    Which of course means that NOTHING is actually racist…..except the leftists.

  4. It’s just a game of “got-cha.” UCLA feels so proud of themselves for being clever. It’s more fun than studying racist subjects like math (only one right answer) or science (for climate only one answer is allowed)

    Self-discipline and critical thinking be damned. I wanna be relevant noowww….!

  5. Reminds me of an old joke decades before this nation became an apologist’s woke shithole. Why do blacks have pale palms? Because God had them up against a wall when he spray painted them.

    Know who told me that? Some older negro at work, and we laughed our asses off. This nation has lived to see its apogee and the only way it’ll ever get any better is after its collapse. The Chinese have no fear in dealing with the disruptive victimhood mentality of those that rhyme, and by rhyme I mean- uyghurs.

    My advice to our youth is, learn Mandarin.

    • The Chinese might tell them that their darker skin means nothing, because in the end they are just another type of round eye.

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