Joke Of The Week

From Chuck.

I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very big ol’ fat women talking at the bar. They all spoke with a heavy brogue accent.

I made an unfortunate assumption that their accents appeared to be Scottish… so I approached and asked, “Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?”

One of them angrily screeched, “It’s Wales… you bloody idiot!”*

So I immediately apologized…. and replied, “I am so sorry! Are you three whales from Scotland?”

And that’s the last thing I remember.

The Marines Are DIEed

Yep! It’s over. The Marines have embraced Diversity (All Hail Diversity!), Inclusion, and Equity (DIE). They are now advertizing for a DIE Advisor.

In collaboration with the Chief Diversity Officer (CDO) and the Diversity Review Board (ORB), lead diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts within the United States Marine Corps (USMC), ensure internal and external communications reflect diversity, equity, and inclusion, develop tools and define processes that enable shifting the USMC cultural paradigm for diversity, equity, and inclusion.

Why not? They already have a Chief Diversity (All Hail Diversity!) Officer.

Duties
You will support the development of and administer training and education guidance to the Chief Diversity Officer and supporting senior leadership within the USMC.
You will drive strategic management concepts and principles, including assisting with the development of Marine Corps policy, supporting the USMC’s mission, vision, values, strategic goals and objectives.
You will collaborate with the DRB Secretariat, the incumbent reports to the CDO who has oversight and responsibility for development and implementation of USMC-wide diversity, equity, and inclusion management programs.
You will support the assessment of diversity and inclusion program effectiveness; design and lead implementation of process improvement initiatives; and provide executive level consultation.

Get this. The salary is $144,128 – $183,300 per year

It doesn’t say it in the job announcement but I’ll bet white heterosexual males will not be considered for the job.

China is beefing up its military. We’re destroying ours.

We’re doomed!

AOTW 11-26-2021

Hey, howza ’bout that President *? He tells Al Roker during the Macy’s Parade that “America is back”. Back? Inflation? High gas prices? Empty store shelves? Maybe he should have said that America was back to 1978. Geez! This guy is worse than Jimmah Carter.

But he’s not the AOTW. That honor goes to Vicky Nguyen. In trying to cover up how more expensive Thanksgiving dinner will be this year, she said ditch the turkey and charge your guests.

Kiss my crippled ass! Here’s your award.

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Joke Of The Week

From my friend Phil.

A couple walked into a New Orleans restaurant to have dinner on a recent evening and was greeted with “Do you and your guest have your vaccination cards with you?”.

Hostess : Hello.

Patron : Hi, table for two, please.

Hostess : Sure, and your name.

Patron : Tracy

Hostess : Great. And do you and your guest have your vaccination cards?

Patron : We do. Can you tell us who our server will be?

Hostess : Um, looks like Tom will be your server tonight.

Patron : Great. Can you show us Tom’s vaccination card?

Hostess : Um…

Patron : And also, can you provide me with proof that Tom is not a carrier of HIV, Hepatitis A or B, or any other communicable diseases such as VD?

Hostess : Um…

Patron : Also, we would prefer not to be served by someone who is on or uses recreational drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, meth, fentanyl, etc., so if you could provide us with Tom’s most recent tox screen, that would be great.

Hostess : Um… Let me get the manager for you.

Patron : That would be great, thanks…….

Fair is fair.

Crossing State Lines

Omigawd! The left is outraged that Kyle Rittenhouse CROSSED STATE LINES! Exactly when did that become a crime? I had been in 47 states by the time I was 17. Imagine how many state lines I must of crossed.

When my mom was still alive I used to drive up to Missouri to see her twice a year. I crossed multiple state lines: Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky, Illinois, and Missouri. To the west of Chattanooga I-24 drops back into Georgia for a few miles and then back into Tennessee. I really must have broken the law on all of those trips.

I go see my sister multiple times a year in South Carolina. Oh noes! More crossing state lines. I always take some wine with me. I hope it’s not illegal to take wine across state lines.

If we’re gonna get upset with people crossing state lines, what about all the times Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have crossed state lines to stir up protests?

Maxine Waters crossed state lines to rile up the crowd outside of the court house in Minneapolis at the Derek Chauvin trial.

What about all of the BLM protestors who crossed state lines to riot and destroy property? Is that OK?

But the gun crossed state lines.

Nope. The gun was already there.

This crossing state lines is just another bullshit canard by the leftist SJW’s and the members of the Fake News Media. There’s nothing wrong with crossing state lines and they know it but it gives them another excuse to get the stormtroopers back intro the streets cowing the populace. They’re just pissed that someone fought the mob. killed two scumbags, wounded another, and they were righteous shootings.

The only thing that really pisses me off, is after all of this, Rittenhouse told Tucker Carlson that he supports Black Lives Matter. After all of the bullshit and BLM wanting him dead he supports those assholes? Maybe he’s hoping that this will protect him.

Nope. They’ll still hate you. They’ll still want you dead.

As Foghorn Leghorn would say, “There’s something the matter with that boy.”

Update: Did Alec Baldwin cross state lines before he murdered Halyna Hutchins? Just askin’.